Importance of parents

Today is again Sunday morning. Great celebrations are underway for Hitesh marriage. Bhai sab reached Jodhpur by morning Bus. I could not sleep the whole night, thinking about Bhaosa (my father), who left us for heaven abode in the month of March, 08. How would he been happy to see the marriage of his grand son.

I got up at 5 am and switched on Tape and started writing this blog while listening to Bhajans.

Bhaosa raised a family of 9 kids. He was a revenue official in Rajasthan. Very bold and honest officer. He never compromised on his principle. He could never see injustice meted out to anybody. He would fight with anybody who dared to challenge his point of view. Though he spent most of his life in rural areas, his outlook was very progressive and modern. He gave highest importance to education, ethics and moral values. He was never a narrow minded person. Perhaps this is the reason all my sisters are working ladies and had equal contribution in the growing of the family.

Till the age of 86 he was hale and hearty and never gave chance to anybody to support him physically. However, after that once he fell down, had fracture and unfortunately could not be recovered. Bhai sab and Bhabhiji never allowed him to be alone. With full devotion, dedication, forgetting all personal interest, they were with him till his last breath. I can compare bhai sab and bhabhiji's service to bhaosa that of Sharvan Kumar.

Our baiji (mother) is now around 77. I remember my old village days. While father had transferable job, Mokalsar was made as a permanent base for education of growing siblings. We had big house and lot of cows. The day would start at 4 am, preparing cattle feed, milching them, preparing tiffins for school going kids, and so on. While sisters got teaching job through direct offers from Government immediately after matriculation, all male members were sent to Jodhpur for higher education. Susheela also came to Jodhpur and completed her post graduation and now she is chairperson of a bank and also running her business successfully. It is because of hard pains, labour, all her sons are post graduate, professionally qualified and with God blessing are well placed.

Though my mother also have a background of rural life. She is also having a modern and progressive outlook. She has no problem staying with sons, she prefers to visit them by turn at different cities and whenever in Jodhpur stays alone at our old house. She loves to work for herself so that she remains fit physically and mentally.

While she is a wonderful mother, she is an excellent mother-in-law. Our Hindi movies and TV soap opera always show bad relationships between Sas Bahu. But my mother is an exception. She loves all her daughter in laws like her own daughters. She recently came to Chandigarh stayed with us for around 3 months and I noticed that our elders do not require anything except a few words of love and affection. I would notice how she would enjoy cutting vegetables, washing utensils, cooking food, preparing old traditional dishes, gossiping with Beenu and all ladies of society. She became friend of almost all woman folk in the society. Now since she has gone to Jodhpur, all my neighbours keep on asking me about her. She stayed with us earlier also at Chandigarh, Jamnagar, Mumbai and Jalore and I always noticed that my wife enjoyed her company. My mother would ask her to wear clothes of her choice, though she would wear traditional cloth in front of her.

One day I asked Beenu, how she enjoyed the company of Baiji. And she said that she loved her more than that of me. She is one of the best mother in laws. So much loving, appreciating, helping.

I was wondering why in Indian families, people feel parents as burden. A feel of mutual respect, compassion, love and patience are the basic requirement. Only one need to understand. Now I feel alone when she has gone to Jodhpur.

My father was die hard lover of my mother. But he never showed it publicly. My mother tells me a story. While leaving Ahmdeabad for Jodhpur, my mother went to him to say good bye..he looked in her eyes and said “thoda aur ruk jate to maira man lagjata.”