Baiji, My mother
(1933 to 2013)
My mother (Baiji) had her last
breath on 1st May, 2013 after prolonged illness of around 2.5 years
at the age of 80 in Ahmedabad.
She was known as Indira mata in
the family. She was the last surviving
member of my Nana’s family who had four
sons and two daugthers. Nanasa came
from a modest family of Koselov, a village in Pali district of Rajasthan and later shifted to Pune for auto business.
Baiji married in the year 1949
and was blessed with six sons and three daughters. Baosa my father was a revenue official in
Rajasthan and had a transferable job.
Initially she also shifted from one place to another place like Barmer,
Dhorimana, Siwana, Rakhi and so on, but finally settled in Mokalsar, a village
in Barmer district of Rajsthan way back in the year 1958. Mokalsar was a small village but fairly well connected with Rail and road
transport. It had good education and medical facilities
too.
Baiji had courage of raising nine
siblings. In Mokalsar initially we had fairly big house
made of kacchi bricks and Khepadas (eathern cover over ceiling), metal sheets
and big shelter for cows. Baiji would
get up in the early morning preparing food for cows, milching them and washing
Togdas (calves of cows). There was no
water supply in the houses at that time, therefore, water had to be brought in
Matkis (eathern pos) from Pechka (Water Distribution Centre). My mother along with my sisters and other
village ladies would go to Pechkas in very colourful traditional attire, wait
for their turn and bring water in Matkis.
Minimum 10 to 15 matkis had to be
brought to fulfill the need of entire family.
Pechka was about one km away from our house. Normally male members used to go to common
places like Pechka or Abotia ki beri or Behtalab or Mamaji ka Than for bathing
and washing cloths. In those days we had
habit of taking some refreshment at around 4 pm alongwith tea. I remember a incident when one fine afternoon
when baiji and I were taking tea in Basali (front area before kitchen) a monkey
entered house, snatched all chaptatis and cup of tea and went up to the Neem
tree which was there in the mid of my house and enjoyed Kaleva (afternoon refreshment)
Immediately baiji managed a few chapattis
for me.
The water problem was solved in
the year 1972 when regular water supply through government tapes was installed. At that time also we shifted to “Sagar Niwas”
a big pucca house near Jain temple.
Baiji and Tara bai were very close
friends. No day will go without meeting
Tara bai. They will go to each other’s house every day and
will enjoy tea in Talis (deep bowl). I
have seen on many occasions both friends fighting like birds but after a few
minutes both will be together having sip of tea. Both of them spent more than 30 years
together and ultimately Tara bai went to heavenly abode in the year 1985. Guruji, her husband shifted his base to Osia
after her demise and stayed there till last moment of his life.
All my brothers and sisters got
education up to secondary level in Mokalsar and then went to Jodhpur for higher
education and career. Baiji chose to
stay back to Mokalsar as one of my sisters though married in Jodhpur was
teacher in Mokalsar and she had small kids to be take care of. Many years later when all the brothers got
married, baiji shifted her main base to Jodhpur. Many people say that baiji was reluctant to
come to Jodhpur because she was not prepared to take up responsibility of grown
up children. Strange it might sound…but
surely she spent her early days in very hardships for raising nine her own children and three
kids of her daughter and she surely deserved some rest. But whenever she visited Jodhpur, the command
was in her control only, though she was quite liberal.
In Mokalsar we were formally
inducted into Oswal Panchyat in the year 1976 and became eligible for “Hanti” (all
common gifts and presents) distributed
to the communities on the occasions of marriage or special religious
festivals. Mostly gifts were in the
nature of stainless steel utensils.
Baiji had special likings for them.
Baiji had a whole lot of collection of utensils of
different shapes and sizes. She was
purchasing them otherwise also from other families from her meagre
savings.
My sisters were employed in government
schools as teachers immediately after passing their higher secondary schools as
they were the highest educated women in the village at that time and the
appointment letters directly came from Panchayat. This was great support to family. Though my elder brother was already
shouldering this responsibility as he started working from childhood itself a
manager to a PDS shop. But baiji ensured that whatever difficult phase might be, the kids do not suffer.
So she didn’t mind borrowing money from
local money lenders even at 2 to 3 percent per month of interest.
Baosa had very high on
temperament and very bold voice. Nobody
could dare to face him whenever he was angry.
Baiji would listen to him
patiently and cool him down.
Baiji was very good cook. It was a great pleasure to eat some of the special
preparations of baiji particularly gate ki sabji, pittod, basania, bhindi, loki
– dal, kakdi ki sabji and gur ka
seera. Winter was always cherished with
methi ke laddu. I am very fond of methi
ke laddu and now Beenu, my wife takes care of it…of course, the flavor of
baiji is missing.
My eldest brother and bhabhi,
though took most of the financial responsibilities for marriage of brothers and
sisters, baiji ensured that family remain united. It is proud moment for family that we all 40
members of the family meet practically every year.
Baiji had special liking for folk
dance and music. She would love to see
her daughters in law particularly Beenu and granddaughter in law Anju dancing
on folk music.
Though she was a little
conservative on costume of daughters in law.
She wanted them to look like “bahu” and not “beti” ..so she wanted them
to wear Saris. But later years she
allowed Beenu to wear cloths of her choice and all other bahus followed her.
Till the age of 76 she was hale
and hearty. She was staying alone in the
house of 12th road and enjoyed her independence. But old age coupled with high diabetes she fell ill and became bed ridden. During her illness she kept on shifting from
Subhas nagar Jodhpur – Ahmdabad-Chandigarh.
Finally ill health didn’t allow more movement. In Jodhpur, we salute, Induji and Charmi my
bhabhi and niece who toiled day and night to make her comfortable when she was
ill.
She was being treated in
Ahmedabad from July 2013 and taken care by Bhai sab and Babhiji. Despite so much care, she was victim of bed
shores and they took toll of her. Last
three months of her life were extremely difficult, painful and merciless.
While many parents pray for birth of daughters in their
homes because daughters are more attached with parents, baiji must be praying
that her sons gets daughters in law like Induji and Chanduji who abdicated
their personal pleasure in service of father in law and mother in law.
